Bros and Brotein.
Some of us have lots of friends, no friends, and a few good friends.
Two friends coordinate a meetup at the gym. They could consider it the second most important thing they do that day. They spend over 30 minutes hanging out in the car chatting away about life, money, girls, and nutrition habits. All the while hydrating with electrolytes to fuel the day and the gym session. Outfits coincidently mirrored with 4-inch seam shorts and skinny tank tops, but let’s not forget the high-top Converse to show they lift heavy things. They check the time and the vibe and both give each other the unspoken nod to show they are ready to become the warriors it destined them to be. They march into the gym, headphones blasting, digital memberships in hand ready to be scanned. No one is coming in between them and the pump. Since they frequent the gym so often, they robotically make their way to the men's locker room every turn to get there memorized, like the back of their hands. There she is, locker number 27, the locker they've used since the beginning of time. They jam their bags inside and the pre-workout ritual begins. They take off their shirts and rehydrate with a scoop of electrolytes in their blender bottles. Five minutes they compare physiques and give brotherly advice on what they can do better they also boost each other's confidence with compliments that have nothing to do with the gym such as “Bro that outfit you wore the other night at the bar was sick” or maybe “bro you are my best friend.”
All while flexing in the mirror getting a good look at their amateur physiques before the pump. They toss their shirts back on and give the go-ahead. They walk onto the gym floor, slow and legs strutting as though the entire gym has been notified of their presence. The workout begins, and it's as if it drowned all the noise out and all anyone can hear is the slamming of iron hitting the gym floor and the sounds of grunting with the yelling of encouraging words being hurled at the lifter. After 5 hours in the gym, they feel it's time to begin their post-workout ritual. Shirts are already off and two men so quick to flex in the mirrors squeeze so hard you'd think they're about to pop a hernia. After the glazing of each other's bodies, they get naked but not before letting one another know that they are “going dark” Code for I'm getting naked don't look at me. They change into some extra underwear and fill their bottles up. It's the thing they've been waiting for, the only real thing that matters in all the six hours being at the gym. The Sauna.
Quickly they enter the 15x15 heated room, avoiding any cold air from slipping in because they hate when people do that. They take their seats on the upper bench and set their timer for 20 minutes. They scan the room to look at the other sweaty sauna-goers. One man sits in the rightmost corner wearing only a towel covering his dick, earphones in, clearly on noise cancellation, most likely tuned into an episode of the Joe Rogan Experience. You have a tall gentleman to the left with two-inch seam shorts that seem to be 3 sizes too small he also wore a sweaty, hairy chest and a belly that said “I like to workout but I like to drink more” he was intensely doing pushups and mountain climbers off the lower bench, breathing heavy and sweat dripping on the sauna floor. There was always that one guy in the sauna and today the two friends were not one of them. After a few minutes of watching this hairy man go full-on inside the sauna, he stands up breathing so loud that eyebrows are raised from the surrounding men. Should there be a concern? He stumbles back before he catches himself and it is clear he is dizzy and exhausted from the show he had just put on. He walks out like a drunk man leaving the bar and that was the last time the two boys ever saw him. The timer goes off and they make their way out. They grab their towels and head into the shower section. Showering after a sauna session is a must, and you should not be trusted if you don't. They shower and meet at the mirror towels wrapped around their waist. They flex. Then look at each other and smile. After getting dressed and cleaned up, they exit the gym shocked that it's dark after spending 7 hours inside the gym walls.
It was time to eat.
Some of us have lots of friends, no friends, and a few good friends but some have gym bros…
(this is a fictional made up story)