Utah 42

11 and a half hour drive yesterday we stopped in Saint George to just get the climbing bug out the way everything was going well. Arrived yesterday to Moab around 11pm and instantly went to a place to crash at. I WAKE UP with a fucking sharp pain under my lower left rib cage and it still hurts 9pm, 12 hours later. I don't know what it is i’m not a doctor nor a fucking genius, Patrick told me maybe it might be an appendicitis but I seriously doubt it and I seriously hope it’s not that will fuck so much up and just overall suck. Ive been fortunate enough to never have needed surgery on anything so fuck this I don’t want it to be the first.

This girl that I was pretty much in communication daily it was just normal nothing crazy I guess we’re not even cool i’m not sure what happened people seem to live their lives and I live mine so I let it be all power to you.

I really am hoping this paint goes away and doesn’t progress to anything worse cause it was fucking unbearable today after climbing, I could barely breathe without my rib cage or whatever it is feeling like a knife was slicing my insides.

Part of me really wants a girlfriend but I will never force or actively seek one. I miss intimacy of a human being it’s nice especially when you go super long without real intimacy or private conversations— it’s been years for me. I probably fucked up the closest thing to that recently. It still runs through my mind daily which I hate that it has the power to do that.

I’m bitter.

It will come I know it. Can’t rush these type of things I believe.

The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller

Not much to do with anything just thought it’s nice quote relating to love. Slowly becoming a hopeless romantic. What the fuck….