Merry Christmas

If there's one holiday that one should return home or wherever that place is that we consider home, it should be Christmas. Night doesn’t seem so dark during Christmas with the hundreds of lights in malls and neighborhood homes. Being lonely isn’t such an easy feeling when you have family around. And it almost seems everyone is in a better mood during this time of the year.

I’ll point out that this is not everyone’s reality, but this is the majority of people’s reality, including mine. Some people don’t get to go home for the holidays. Whether the plane got canceled or they don't have a place to go. The lights aren’t noticeable because you aren’t out and about getting gifts or going to someone’s house. You are more lonely than any other time of the year and on top of that, you just fucking hate seeing everyone in a good mood during the holidays. I feel sorry for those who experience times or a lifetime, but I wish anyone in that position a merry Christmas and to make the best of their situation.

I'm in San Diego until the 28th of December I, unfortunately, will be missing New Year's here in southern California. Celebrating a new year with a booze-filled night doesn’t make me feel like I’m missing out on too much. This year dragged on for me, it dragged on way too long, and I almost thought for a moment that it was still. It could've been the blown-out knee or the irreparable heartbreak earlier in the year.

Who will ever know why our weird little worlds feel frozen at times?

When the sun goes down, we survive because that’s what we know how to do. I don’t think it matters in the bigger picture how we survive, but as long as we do, and we keep pushing forward in hopes for better days that might not come but maybe will. No matter, though, it’s an unfortunate thing to only be surviving and nothing more. What a drag those years can be to the people who desire and need to live but lack the ability to do so.

I pity those just as much as the lonely man on Christmas.