Normal at Home Depot

As I walked through the aisles of Home Depot, I looked around at all the people and thought to myself, what normal things are these normal people buying? There was a feeling of disconnection, a moment of thinking, "I'm not normal; I can’t be normal." I feel I haven’t been normal since I was 17. I didn't know normal. My life quickly became a series of unconventional choices: showering at the gym, living in a cramped office space, and interacting daily with adults grappling with their midlife crises. I no longer knew normal; my life was and has been far from it. The disconnection I felt today at Home Depot is familiar; it's a feeling I've had since I was 17. Everything that has happened from then until now has only deepened my departure from what is considered normal.

At the ripe age of 26, I asked myself, "Do I continue living in this upside-down world? Is doing the normal so bad?" When I examine the status quo closely, it doesn't seem too bad. In fact, it appears peaceful—exactly what it intents to be. There's not much to disrupt the calm. Some days I wake up and think, "What normal thing can I do today?" Walking through Home Depot, I find myself wondering what a normal person might buy—perhaps wood, plumbing supplies, or maybe new hinges for their bedroom door? Is there a balance that we need to find between that place of normal and a little bit of sporadic, chaotic thrills? Can those things live in peace like a yin and yang? Once we step onto one side, can we ever go back?

I wrote this really quickly almost immediately after I got home from Home Depot. I didn't put much thought into it, but these were the thoughts running through my mind as I walked through the store and on my way back home. It's thoughts like these that give me such an eagerness and a love for writing because even when I'm not trying to write, my mind is doing it for me.