utah 54

Its been awhile since the last time I wrote. This past weekend was fun and kind of just fast paced and I felt I was in some hazy zone mentally that I havent felt in a long time. I have fun and I enjoy the company around me but I feel as if I have a tendency to get comfortable and open my mouth when its not necessary. I really need to sit myself down and do some deep thinking on what I want out of certain things im doing. Sounds deeper than it really is. Its just time for some self reflection. I think as humans we lie to ourselves so much that we become so oblivious to the lie we simply keep telling ourselves the “truth” over and over again that we eventually forget thats its a lie,. why cant we be honest with our selves why do many of us including myself lack that ability? Being honest and true to yourself is a quality that is so hard to gain that I feel happens over a lifetime being able to acknowledge and pick apart actions and choices we make is so fucking hard. I am huge victim to this.

Are we doing things to make us happy or to distract us from what makes us sad?

Are the friendships and relationships we most commonly build genuine or some self beneficial construct?

The act of self sabotaging something how much is it out of fear and how much is it out of righteous protection for yourself?

Im taking a climbing break until friday.

I should be back writing daily again this week.

10:04pm

Park City, Utah