Who blogs anymore?

The decision to pause on writing blogs wasn't a difficult one. If there was anything I was sure about, it was that I was no longer writing for my own sake and personal fulfillment. It had become a tireless chase to hit pageviews and keep up with a narrative that no longer fit my life. Yet here I am, almost a year later, reigniting my own personal slice of the internet, driven by a renewed sense of purpose.

Six years ago, I began writing blogs on this website, which was initially just a blank HTML page sprinkled with some dates and poorly written blogs that only I could decipher. It might still resemble that, but at least now it looks like some effort has been involved. Im slowly but surely hoping to turn this into something positive. Blogging holds a nostalgic charm; it's a nod to the past yet plays with the possibilities of the future. And yes, most people prefer watching videos these days—I don’t blame them, I'm no better. I've often found myself mindlessly scrolling through videos of memes, partial nudity, and snake oilmen disguised as course sellers.

Writing serves as my therapy and release, yet blogging feels like watching a crash dummy brace for impact. I sit back and watch how the very words I type out on my MacBook Pro can wreak havoc on my life. I’ve written and published over 1,000 blogs over six years, and it's been a beautiful journey. Reflecting on the thoughts of a more adolescent me, I realize he wasn’t that bad. However, my attempts to be transparent and share my life through words with the random folk of the internet have backfired in ways I'm not ready to delve into just yet. Instead, what follows is my effort to play catch-up with my slice of the internet, reconnecting with the original joys of blogging.

I've been enjoying a peaceful suburban life nestled in a gated community in Summerlin, right outside of Red Rocks. Most people don’t associate Las Vegas with quiet communities where moms go to hot yoga and men play nine holes of golf—and yes, they rarely ever visit the Strip. This is my second winter season in Las Vegas, but this time I’m in a house with a shower, so I don’t need to wear sandals for fear of contracting a nasty fungus. Living here as a settled, law-abiding citizen has given me a taste of what it might be like to stay permanently. I’ll admit, if you took me out of this home and forced me back into van life, I’d be miserable. Transitioning to or from van life is challenging; it requires time to adjust and mentally prepare for the upcoming changes—from sleeping arrangements and food to my morning coffee and bathroom routine. These are the small things that make up our daily lives, which we don’t typically pay much attention to because they tend to be automatic and done on autopilot.

The decision between living in a house and a van isn't about preference; it depends on the season, where I am, and what my goals are. Of course, living out of my van has taught me things that paying rent somewhere wouldn't and couldn't. It's hardened me and specifically taught me that I'm okay with as little as possible. It's been a huge positive for my mental health but also comes at the cost of feeling lonely or the very fact that it's not so easy to have camaraderie like normal.

As the winter draws nearer to an end, that means my mental preparation for leaving this cozy situation I’ve been placed in will begin soon. In the meantime, I plan on continuing to work on this passion project of mine. This website has been live for 6 years. I felt it would be valuable to build something that I don’t expect a return from, that I'm doing simply for the love and will to do something, not for gratification. I am happy to return to writing these blogs with a different mindset.