Costco
After my bittersweet departure from Yosemite, I made my way down to the coast of Santa Cruz. I had only passed through a few years ago, so I figured a change of scenery from the mountains would be refreshing. San Diego felt too far to drive, making Santa Cruz the closest and most viable option. This move was more of an experiment than anything else—to see how quickly I could adapt, if I would like it, and maybe even fall in love with the place.
Underlying this decision was a deeper motivation to settle down, something I rarely speak about except with those close to me. I have yet to find a place that makes me drop to my knees and declare, “I must live here.” There are places that seem nice, where I imagine myself living in an apartment or house, going to work, asking for time off, hitting the gym after work, and engaging in the everyday activities of regular people. It’s a life that isn’t about constant travel or roaming around. It’s quite the opposite of being “free-spirited”. To plant roots somewhere means to be grounded, which requires a routine because some sort of functional routine is a necessary evil to survive in the urban world.
The fear of sudden change in the prized routine can frazzle people, just like the disappointment of tasting your favorite ice cream and realizing it doesn’t have the same flavor anymore. Am I looking for a routine that involves repeatedly going to the same places, following a strict gym schedule, enjoying brunch with my partner, and occasionally basking in the sunset? When I find myself at Costco on a Sunday afternoon, circling the maze of a parking lot, only to be greeted with aisles of people pushing those oversized carts, I can’t help but feel a mix of frustration and resignation at the monotony of it all. Tomorrow is Monday, and I’ll do it all again next weekend: gym, brunch, sunset, Costco, and repeat.
On one hand, these are beautiful luxuries we get to enjoy. On the other, it’s like nails on a chalkboard for me. It drives me absolutely insane. In another life, I’d love to be a shapeshifter—constantly shifting into different forms, moving around, never staying the same, always changing.