Washington 73
It’s a Monday first day of the work week. I’m currently sitting at a bench staring into the glass water of Lake Penn orielle. We are 30 minutes north of metaline falls very green lush area makes it easy to be here. The Canadian border is just a stroll away. It’s so quiet there’s only 4 of us here in this entire area. I see 3 marmots scurry under a Boulder field near by and a hawk gliding above scouting for its next prey.
It rained nearly all day while we were working so my boots and pants are soaked I can only hope that they dry before tomorrow. I’ve been thinking a lot about a few people back in California and the urge to reach out is strong but for the sake of everyone involved I won’t. Some things are better left unsaid And left to just fade off into the void of thoughts we hold. I’m not scared of what today holds I’m scared that I’ll wake up one day and not know what this is where I’m going and why I’m doing what I’m doing I fear so bad that it makes me tremble and nearly shed a tear. I don’t want to wake up and think that what I’m doing is for nothing or what I’m doing is something that ill question within the next few months. It’s not that I hold those feelings but I fear that they will come to me like fearing for a disease that you know that you won’t ever get because you’re not in the region but if you ever go there you could get it. That’s probably the best metaphor that I can come up with for now about that. I had a conversation with a friend of a friend and she was drunk and thinking about her long term partner and she kept reiterating About how in love she was with her significant other And how awesome it is and how happy she is and I couldn’t help but to feel in a way envious that you know even if it’s not real I haven’t felt that that pure happiness of being able to rant about somebody when they’re not even there when you’re drunk and the only thing you can think of is that person it sounded pretty happy. I’m not a sucker for lovey dovey stuff but I’m a sucker if you know what I mean. Is it me? Will it ever happen? When will it happen if it does? You start questioning And sometimes it feels foolish at the young age of 23 but they are real questions with real emotions behind it. As a great song once said “so many oysters but no pearls”. It’s 6:37pm here and I’m looking to sleep real early tonight. I felt sluggish this morning even though I slept good Sunday night. So this is my post for Monday. I want to get off my phone and start reading and just kind of look off into the lake it’s mesmerizing no thoughts no distractions just pure beauty as Mother Earth as intended.