WaShington 74
Tuesday. It was a long day pretty robotic this job doesn’t require much but to show up be strong do what you’re told. I’ve been thinking a lot specifically about my family and my dad I’ve never been really close with my father well I was Up until till maybe middle school became became distant we didn’t really talk much it’s actually really sad to think about I’m sure this is common with a lot of people in their parents at the end of the day we’re all people separated from whatever role you were given whether it was being a father or a mother and in my case a child. Well if you’re reading this I’m probably going to get a bit personal my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer not too long ago and then was told he was at stage four of his cancer again not too long ago just shortly before I had left San Diego. My plan is and was always to go back to San Diego In the beginning of September and right now that is still the plan. I don’t wanna make any irrational decisions based off of emotions and how I’m feeling at the current moment but I will give myself three weeks if I feel strongly about this decision that is to go back to San Diego in the next month specifically to spend more time with my family especially my dad before I leave in November. I don’t know I’m writing this because I feel like this will help me with my decision later on I just think it would be cool to hang out maybe smoke some weed hit some golf balls with my dad for two or three extra months before heading back out. Again I don’t know I don’t have many big decisions currently in life so this is one of them. I still got a full day here and half of Thursday it feels like ages away I smell I feel dirty I’m gonna wake up in the morning with my whole entire sleeping bag and my tent wet from all the condensation it’s pretty fucking annoying. Now this just makes me seem like I’m a big fucking complainer but if anything I have the right to complain nothings gonna change even if I do so I complain if it makes me feel a bit better why not do it. I write this as I lay in my tent listening currently to where is my mind by the pixies because as of right now I have no fucking clue where my mind is.