Nevada 217

Ashamed to say I haven’t written in 12 days. Admittedly enough my headspace hasn’t been steering straight and I’ve succumbed to the whole idea of being so busy I can’t do anything I actually want to do. Things have changed and I wouldn’t go as far as to say they changed dramatically. One thing becomes more and more apparent every day which is I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing in the foreseeable future. It’s exciting but anxiety-inducing at the same time. I feel lost but frankly, id rather is lost than have this false belief I am found doing something that makes me miserable. I don't have any qualms to stay in Vegas for X amount of time. I’m sure that will change when the desert heat kicks in, which will be my queue to leave Las Vegas and head somewhere warm but cooler. Being lost is always portrayed negatively and for some odd reason, the idea of being found is one no one can really explain but knows EXACTLY what it is. Being lost not knowing what the next place you can find yourself in or who you can run into leaves life to be more exciting in my opinion. I compare it to living with a blank whiteboard and you control what gets drawn on it, what gets erased, and how long you want it to stay on. Life is a lot more exciting when you don’t know what’s next. Though the normal in all of us crave stability we crave knowing every detail of every little thing. It’s not knowing what’s ahead that frightens the majority of us but knowing what’s ahead and its chances of not making you happy are scary.