Wyoming 167

Ive never actually taken the time to value and appreciate my relationships in the past and its obvious to me that I didn’t care to and still don’t. Now i’m twenty-four and i’m in a relationship where I value and appreciate her more than anything it’s an indescribable feeling. Its an awesome feeling and I now feel sorry for my past self to have never felt this but with anything good, i think it’ll always follow along with some bad. So many difficult days have to come before the good days its a part of the growth and allowing someone to enter your life and become not just a person but “that” person. I’ve had to radically shift my priorities and my style of communicating because that person was different and I would do anything over again if it means shifting or changing things for that person. I continue to do that every day and she does it for me its a sacrifice that was easier to make than almost anything ive had the choice in life for. It’s putting yourself to the side for someone and when you’re like me someone that’s been making decisions almost purely based on pleasure and selfishness it means radical change. If two people meet and form a relationship it’s not out of just simply wanting to be committed to each other it comes from a willingness and the want to put ego, pride, and at times closing metaphorical doors. A lot of people go around saying “you shouldn’t change for anyone or anything” I simply find that not to be true. You shouldn’t change for anyone or anything that wouldn’t for you. In the real world, you change for someone and not ever because you have to but because you want to and again itll be the easiest decision you’ll ever make. You do it because they will do it for you. The bad and shitty parts of who you are that you slowly have become aware of over the years but always refused to do anything about well you finally want to start doing something about. With Emma I didn’t want what I’ve always typically wanted which was material items and sex I wanted so purely to improve and become a better human and not entirely for her but for myself, she pulled it out of me without even trying.

I’ve learned so late that relationships aren’t always dandy and loving and not that I haven’t seen it with my own two eyes from my own parents. I was young and living in ignorance as we do so much when we are young. I think at an early age a lot of us tend to see them that way through the lenses of movies, books, and the ideas we have of what love is. Through rose-colored lenses.

Good things take time and great things take time and effort.